One of the biggest issues I faced was removing the pride I had about being on the sideline of life. I appreciate people who play their lane. I appreciate people who know what they were sent here to do and do it. I spent many days watching others. Judging others. Judging myself. Thinking that other people didn’t know what they were talking about. Thinking I could do better than the next man. I had no recognition about how I had not outdone myself. I had judged myself as unfairly as I judged others. It was a way of protection. The judgement was protecting me from making an attempt where I felt like I would look dumb. Falsely protecting me from making an attempt where I did not receive validation from the world. If I did not become lorded by the people I so desperately desired to leave an impression on then I failed. So I saw no reason to try at all. That was no one’s fault, but my own. That was my mindset. I was prideful about the moments where I didn’t look stupid, but what was really dumb was I had a desire within me to have tried a little harder and I could meet it. I am constantly laughing at how proud I was of not trying hard. Giving minimal effort for things I was told were meaningful, but they had no meaning to me. Spending way too much time doing the things they loved me for and not the things I loved me for. 

This page I’ve created is very meaningful to me. This world I have built on a social network is monumental to the kid that was sitting in his mother’s hair salon all summer as she chased her dream. It is monumental to the kid who watched his family repeat cycles because of ignorance. It is monumental to the young man who woke up in a hospital in 2016 with all three of his parents crying and worried about his well-being. It is the greatest thing ever no matter who connects with it. Win before you’ve won. You are everything. You are enough. You matter no matter what. I mattered before I made the first episode of the podcast in my Uncle’s house. I make the best of every moment I am presented. It is a choice to feel good. So I invite you to do the same. Do not be miserable to match the expectations of others. I am joyful because I have the opportunity to be. I woke up one more day. I have angels on earth and in heaven who give me infinite love. Why must anyone make space for misery? Why do we raise children to believe they have to be just a little sad? There is in fact a time for tears. I have spent time crying. There is a season where life doesn’t make sense. I had a season where I questioned God. (Shoutout to Job) I had a season where I hated myself. As I stepped onto the other side I saw the culprit was me. I was the root of my anguish. There will always be things that we can complain about. There will always be moments that seem unfair. But you don’t have to be disturbed within or rent a room to bitterness, resentment, anger, or any emotions that leave us miserable. Love on somebody today. Love on yourself first. Bip into it. Bip Bip.

Share this with one more person if these words impacted you. Share the work I do. I appreciate you.